Stop shopping for your fantasy life

There is nothing wrong of course with having aspirations, but your wardrobe should be useful, not based on how you picture yourself in your daydreams. 

Have you ever bought a beautiful dress for the glamorous dinner parties you imagine yourself attending, only to find it still hanging in your wardrobe years later with the tags attached?

Or perhaps you own several pairs of high heels because you picture yourself confidently striding into meetings, despite the fact that your days are mostly spent driving between appointments or working from home in comfortable flats. 

If so, you are certainly not alone. One of the biggest reasons that women end up with overflowing wardrobes full of unworn clothes is that they shop for the life they wish they had, rather than the life they actually lead.

The fantasy wardrobe

Many of us have an image in our minds of the person we would like to become.

She is effortlessly stylish.
She attends elegant events.
She always has somewhere exciting to go.
She wears crisp white trousers without ever spilling coffee or dropping food on them.
She somehow manages to look polished while juggling work, family, and everything else that life throws her way.

The problem comes when these aspirations begin making purchasing decisions for you. Every time you buy clothing for your day-dream life instead of your real life, you are spending money on a wardrobe that caters to an imaginary version of yourself.

Your wardrobe should match your lifestyle

A wardrobe works best when it reflects how you actually spend your time. Ask yourself:

• What do I wear most days?
• Where do I spend the majority of my week?
• What clothes do I repeatedly reach for?
• Which outfits make me feel comfortable, confident, and like myself?

Your answers might surprise you.

Perhaps you spend 80 per cent of your week in a casual business environment but own far a lot evening wear. Maybe you love buying fitted jackets, yet you always reach for soft knitwear because it feels more comfortable. Or perhaps your wardrobe is full of clothes for holidays, weddings, and special occasions that make up only a tiny fraction of your year.

When your wardrobe does not reflect your lifestyle, getting dressed becomes frustrating because your clothes are not right for you.

Buy for the person that you are today

This simply means recognising that your wardrobe needs to suit your current lifestyle.

If you receive a promotion next year, your wardrobe can evolve with you. If your lifestyle changes, your clothing can change, too. Buying an entire wardrobe for a future that might or might not happen often leads to wasted money, unnecessary clutter, and disappointment.

A simple shopping test

Before buying anything, pause and ask yourself these questions:

• Realistically, where will I wear this?
• Can I think of at least three occasions in the next few months?
• Can I co-ordinate it with clothes that I already own?
• Does it suit my colouring, body shape, personality, and lifestyle?
• Am I buying this because I need it, or because I like the idea of the person who would wear it?

That final question is often the one that reveals the truth.

Build a really useful wardrobe

A successful wardrobe is not the one with the most clothes. It is the one that allows you to open the wardrobe each morning and quickly find something that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and appropriately dressed for your day.

When your clothing reflects your real lifestyle, every item earns its place. You wear more of what you own; you buy less on impulse; you waste less money. Most importantly, getting dressed comes with certainty and ease.

Final thoughts

The next time you are tempted by a beautiful outfit, take a moment to consider who you are buying it for. Is it for the version of you who exists in your imagination to enjoy someday? Or is it for the woman who has meetings to attend, errands to run, children to collect, clients to see, or friends to meet today who deserves a wardrobe that suits her right now?

Stop shopping for your fantasy life and start dressing for your actual one. You might discover that your wardrobe suddenly seems larger, more useful, and far more satisfying without buying a single extra item.

Would you like to help with a wardrobe overhaul?

At Style Sanctuary, I help women understand the colours, styles, and clothing choices that suit them as individuals. The result is a much more useable wardrobe (and usually a slimmed down one, too!) that is more cohesive and much easier to choose from every day.

Remember that the goal is not to look like someone else, it is to look good as yourself and to feel comfortable in your own skin.

Why not book in a free 15-minute style check to see how I can help you? I would love to hear from you.